I started this blog as a way to connect with others and share my life experiences. When starting out I thoroughly enjoyed the focused work it provided and I imagined myself continuing on in this same vein for months and months. What I have found is that my internal voice argues throughout the day with me about it. I think of topics and moments I want to share and then that voice gets going. Nothing specific, more of a challenge to what I see as a creative outlet for myself. The voice likes to argue that I worked for all of my adult life and it’s ridiculous to put deadlines on myself while I’m living my SAHM dream. If you follow me at all then you know that the voice was very persuasive….in other words, I have not posted in weeks.
What’s interesting to me is that I didn’t throw the blog to the side and not think of it. It is on my mind pretty much throughout every day. I word things in my head, I think of topics and I worry about not posting. Now we’re back to the beginning again with the voice telling me that I don’t need to spend my time that way. Self-sabotaging is the term, I believe. I do this with exercise and food too. I get in a groove, I feel good, I’m focused and then the voice hits me with how I don’t owe anyone exercise. When I catch myself doing this I can sometimes shut it down by jumping back into the exercise program or forcing myself to weigh and measure my meals. I’m doing it tonight with my blog. I got my computer out and wouldn’t you know, it is dead and the charger is on the other side of the room (10 feet away), under the table, behind two chairs and Elijah is working there, so I better just leave it for tonight. It is a sign. Damn it, voice, you almost got me. Again, if you’re reading this, then you know I kicked the voice’s tush (maybe….it depends on if I get this actually posted).
I will be adjusting my own expectations. Instead of a weekly deadline, it’ll have to be a surprise. It may even be a surprise for me! I LOVE SURPRISES! I may end up posting more frequently or letting it go for a bit. I’m not sure what that means in the long run, but let’s just go with it for now.
Update: April, 2022
Here’s the real surprise, I had an epiphany that I want my blog to look more professional and to be an actual resource to those reading it. I shared this idea with Elijah and he encouraged me to change platforms, get a website, and go from there. He used his expertise in this area to help get it going. The formatting is done and now on to revising the old content and adding new!